Christmas Stocking Stuffers

Shopping for a paintballer this Christmas? Here is a few ideas that can help you fill the stocking of that already over geared paint-a-holic.

1. Paintballs - You can never have too much paint.
2. A Scenario Game Registration - get them a guaranteed day of paintball at the local scenario field!
3. A New Mask or Lens - Get them that mask they keep hinting about, or replace the lens in the mask they love!
4. Fancy Trigger Grips - help them pimp their marker with some sweet 45 grips to match their personality
5. Gear Bag - if you got lots of gear it helps to have an efficient way to store it
6. New HPA tank - air tanks are constantly going out of hydro test date, why not eliminate the headache with a new tank (check out guerilla, ninja, and pure energy tanks!)
7. Camo or Jersey - Whether a speedballer or scenario player, looking good on the field is essential.
8. Paintball T -  Whether a speedballer or scenario player, looking good OFF the field is essential.
9. Greg Hastings Paintball - If you are stuck in a frozen wasteland with only your console to comfort you, why not get a game to keep your field strategy edge.
10. A Swanky New Marker - If all else fails you can be certain that you will hit your target with this gift. 

Gurnsey's Gearcheck

"Gear Check with Red Shirt" - MASKS

Recently I have started balancing out a second set of gear in order to coerce my wife into the sport, and to ensure that I have a good backup in case something goes awry on the field. I want to be able to upgrade my current set up so that what I am already using, can become the second stringers, but finding gear that is sweeter than the old standby is harder than it would appear.

The mask, for example, is probably the most important piece of gear in my bag aside from my marker, and mad pballing skills. More than just eye protection, your mask can be the deciding factor in how enjoyable your day on the field is. For me, there are a few key factors when checking to see if a mask measures up.

FOGGING
The first and most important issue is dealing with whether or not you fog up when running through the swamp panting like a deer in rut. Each company seems to have a way of dealing with the fog monster, everything from anti-fog coatings, thermal, and vented lenses, even mask mounted fans sucking the moist air away from your skull. But what actually works? Well to be honest, most of them work, but your best bet is to get a mask that has a combination of these methods, and try it out. What works every time for one person could be awful for the next. If you have a friend with a different mask, see if they will let you borrow it for a game. That should give you a decent idea of how the mask will function when strapped to you.  Personally while I would love to get something a little more flashy, I always come back to the JT Flex Series of goggles. They seem to fit my head well, have decent venting, and I never fog up.

VISIBILITY

It seems redundant after talking about fog to jump straight into visibility, but it is a commonly overlooked area when shopping for a mask. Many newer masks boast huge fields of vision which is no small feat. Make sure you try the mask on and look how much of the mask impedes your vision on either side, or you may find yourself to be a victim of a flanking maneuver unnecessarily. 

COMFORT
The difference between a good piece of furniture and your favorite easy chair is all about comfort. The same is true with your mask. If you are going to wear something for recreation shouldn't it be a joy to wear? Check how it sits on the bridge of your nose, how tight it fits, if any parts of the mask rub or poke you wrong. Masks are not like heads, they are made in a factory somewhere, and your noggin was put together by an artists touch, do your best to put a round peg in a round hole when trying on masks.

PRICE
Frugally minded people have been waiting for this point the entire post, and they are right to do so. Prices on masks have skyrocketed over the years, and like a shiny fishing lure, the marketing has caught many suckers. As I will reiterate later, nailing down comfort, visibility, and anti fog are more important than having the newest and priciest mask on the market.


STYLE
Probably the least important of all factors, and yet typically the only thing considered when people purchase a mask is how it looks. Does it make you look mean? Do you feel like a warrior princess wearing it? Style has made it's way onto the field over the past few years as the sport has grown, and the consumer market has opened up, giving us some of the most gorgeous masks in paintball history. However, you should not be fooled by clever marketing or neat gizmo's that come as standard features on your mask, if it doesn't meet the other important criteria, it is not worth the coin to be "one of the guys" wearing "one of those" masks. That
being said, if you can keep the other factors as well as sport the coolest looking face shield, go for it!

What mask to get...
All of these factors considered I am still on the quest for my next favorite mask. I am interested in the new Sly Profit masks if you want to let me test drive yours, or know someone that has them in stock that I could check them out. If you have an old standby that you would like to recommend, or if you have cool mask that just must be seen, post a link and let me know a little bit about why your mask is the best.

Melting Away

The sun has finally begun its slow creep North, it's welcome warmth beginning to turn the frozen, white intruder into a sloppy brown mess. It is in this time that my mind begins to recognize there are more things to shed than a parka and toque as paintball season finally returns to our home, and native land. I have personally adopted a hibernation policy during the winter months, storing up fat and food stores in order to endure the miserable cold we face from November until April every year, and like a sleepy groundhog I wait until I am good and ready before coming out of my cozy cave. The melt we collectively experience usually comes at a daunting pace, but the melting of my waistline arrives slower than a UPS delivery man in December. Be that as it may, today I begin a quest to turn up the heat on the butter ball belly that I have accumulated, and hope to document the torture and training with a video blog. If you have ideas on how I can lose 20 pounds, and get into shape for the season, post a comment, and I will make a video of me trying it out!

My Wife, The Hero.

With my birthday approaching swiftly my wife had the daunting task of delving into my realm of paintball dreams in order to extract an idea for the perfect gift. Having played for years, and accumulating gear like the rest of you crazies, I simply don't need much in order to have an amazing time on the field. That being said the world of wants is far bigger than the world of necessity, and I had dropped hints of some such items like muddy footprints throughout the house. Sending her emails about new masks on the market, talking about how nice certain brands of high pressure tanks are, paintball mags left open to a page of goodies, sitting in plain view. For months my spreading of the propaganda continued until finally she gave the tell tale sign that immediately lets me know she is up to something. She bit her lip. Now I know that to some of you, that might not mean much, but for me, there is something very telling about the way she bites her lip, and that day, it was particularly revealing.

My immediate response to this inability to keep a secret was a bombardment of questions designed to get her to slip her secret further. Her avoidance was masterful as she evaded eye contact, and tried to divert my attention to more pressing issues, like our children writing on the walls in permanent marker. Two days later, I picked up a package from the mail, and I knew I had her. It wasn't long before I had convinced her to let me open the package that I was certain contained some golden goodie for my paintball obsession. I was right.

Inside the box was the GoPro HD Hero and a large assortment of attachments that allow this little HD camera to be attached to anything you can imagine. While not specifically for paintball, this little gem can take a paintball point blank and not even studder (found that out accidentally on my first run with it). Attach it to your head, your gun, your chest, your surfboard, there is not much that you can't do with it. The picture quality is amazing, and I have only begun playing with it's seemingly unlimited capabilities. Probably the greatest function of this tech toy is it's ability to film me when I have that one epic moment on the paintball field without holding me back from the action.

I had done a fair bit of research on these type of "helmet cams" and which ones seem to be able to stand up to the rigors of extreme sports, but very few of them had actually been taken into a paintball game. I had surmised that the HD Hero was the best bet for taking a hit, and had the largest range of abilities, and best attachments to get the right shots on the field. So far, I feel that I was right in that conclusion. In all of this however, I have but one concern. when I asked my wife how she knew what camera to get me for this purpose, she did nothing more than bite her lip. Now what does that mean?

No Pain, No Gain!

I received good news today at an appointment I had with my Doctor. About a year ago I injured my knee in my kick boxing class, and then re-injured it playing paintball this past summer. It was causing me more and more pain as time went on so I had decided to get it looked at, fearing that I had done severe damage to it. After months of waiting for an MRI they found that I had bruised the cartilage, something which I had not known was possible until today. The good news is that I do not need surgery, the bad news is that I will have to find new ways to get into shape for the paintball season while my meniscus heals up. 

Safely back on campus I found myself a pair of cross country skis, anxious to start the low impact path to a new, and healthy me. At the time, I had pushed the horrid memories of skiing as a kid far from the front of my mind. To my dismay, seconds after snapping the skis to my feet, I was lovingly embraced by those memories, like a 2 x 4 plank embraces you when it hits you between the eyes. All too vividly did I recall the experience of falling on my back with two long greased sticks strapped to my feet, the wooden monstrosities seemingly repelled in opposite directions as if magnetized with the same polarity. What I could not remember however is if I ever discovered as a child how to get back to my feet after wrapping my ankle around my neck, with my head impossibly close to my left hip, because that is the position I found myself in now. Surprised at the fact that I seemed to be buried in several feet of snow, without gloves, It became very clear that I had not thought out all of the details of this venture. After falling in this fashion half a dozen times, I turned back, bruised but not beaten. I was able to follow my trail back toward our house using the braille method, as the sun had set making my beautiful surroundings all but invisible. 

The entire adventure was intended to be a low impact excursion, which very quickly turned into a high impact beating. I don't think my Doctor or I had originally envisioned such an outing. The entire experience has lead me to reconsider my methods, instead of the suicidal strapping on of skis, perhaps I will take on something a little less intense, like bull riding. 

Why Go German?

It is no secret that those of us who choose to play the "Bad Guys" in scenario games are a bit of a different sort. However, in recent trips to my favorite big scenario in Oklahoma, I have discovered a degree of animosity and even scorn towards those who choose the dark side, and "Go German".

Personally, I found it was a bit hard being heckled, and being treated as if I had sold my soul to Adolf himself. I will never forget the moment where an allied unit threw his arm out in a 'heil' and shouted something to me in what sounded to be German as I browsed the vendors. I had made the 3000 kilometer trek (that's 1864 miles) to the field, and had never stopped to think about this type of behavior. In fact, my team mates and I had chosen to be the bad guys because we heard we would be outnumbered which suited our play style just fine.

Having run with the German Paratroop unit over the last few years, I have discovered that those who join with the Wehrmacht are not at all who many would make them out to be. In fact, some of these hardcore paintballers have become some of my best friends, and others personal heroes, and in no way should ever be considered "The Enemy" on or off the field.

I will be posting interviews with many of the players that I have come to love at D-day, those red-hopper-heroes that continue to Go German, in spite of the opposition. Want to find out what makes them tick? What kind of gear they are toting? Want to see what they eat for breakfast? Hit subscribe, and check out the updates in the "Why Go German" series.

To my smurfy adversaries, who spend the day storming the beaches, falling on our indiscriminate hail-fire I salute you, and look forward to meeting you on the field. I know that there are many heroes that don the bluehoppers and to you I give my respect, I pray that you will return the favor.

The 6th Fallschirmjager

The unmistakable throb of adrenaline coursing through my veins found me restraining a battlecry and fools charge behind the cover of a bunker on that hot muggy day. Our quarry was raining hellfire on our position from just out of range. Our situation was dire. Before us was a zealous group of Allied Pathfinders, atleast 80 strong. looking at the juggernaut force pouring out on us, I remembered back to our camp when our Commanding Officer asked us "Who Are We?" A thunderous shout came as a reply "FALLSCHIRMJAGER!" In such a short time we had become family, comrades, and warriors. Was it true? Had I become a Fallschirmjager? Did I deserve the title?

Several shots came close to my position as the Pathfinders began moving in to eliminate us. I looked at what was left of my squad. Five men. My heart pounded into my head, then through the rest of my body until even the tips of my fingers seemed to join the rhythm. We were going to die. I tried to remember my training, mentally searching for a tactical maneuver or masterful decision to turn this situation around. They had already broken the cease fire arrangement, and their movement suggested no intention to give quarter now. My squad looked to me, anxious for my lead. Suddenly I have my answer as I silently recite the Fallschirmjager Commandments, stopping at the 5th. "Never surrender, to you death or victory must be a point of honor." 

"Load up" I yelled to the last of my eager squad, most of them already copying my motions as I filled my hopper with the last of my precious paint. No orders were needed. We all knew what needed to be done. Our honour was before us waiting to be claimed. My urge could no longer be contained as we screamed in unison "FALLSCHIRMJAGER!" and charged out of the bunker to confront our prey. 

Who knew that five minutes of paintball could be so epic.

No Paintball Today!

It's a rough world for Canadian Paintballers who endure the impossible cold of the long winter months between paintball seasons. Today, the temperature here is a dismal minus thirty celcius (-20F for you warmer south of the border readers). What is a poor frozen Canuck supposed to do in order to stay warm, and sway the paintballing blues during the months leading up to the end of our yearly ice-age? Send your ideas for staying warm in the off season and keeping the trigger finger primed!